Following Your Intuition

I recently turned down a job I was initially very interested in because of something that came up during my offering.  

But had I listened to my intuition from the start, it wouldn't have gone as far as it did.  

(I use gut, higher self, and intuition interchangeably in this post.  To me, they are the same)

I applied for a position with a financial institution that interested me. It seemed great on the surface and was what I sought.

Perfect days/hours, close to home, small company. The company and I initially shared the same goals, and our values were very similar.  

I received an email from the HR rep with this company, and we set up a day and time to chat via phone. The call went very well—so well that we chatted on the phone for nearly an hour! I was so excited because, like I said, everything seemed to be great.

I knew this position was in the city, which didn't make me super happy, but it was also an opportunity I didn't want to let pass me by, so I jumped on it.  

I headed out for the interview and was enjoying the ride, soaking in the country setting and the calmness it brought to my soul. 

Halfway there, I started heading into the city. I began to get anxious about my surroundings but pushed on and meandered to the parking lot, where I was instructed to park.  

I walked into this beautiful financial institution where everything was in place, the facility was immaculate, and the employees were laughing and seemed to be having a wonderful time at work.  Which is something I wanted to see!  So far, besides being in the city, I was pretty happy and am now even more excited about this possibility.

I was greeted by the receptionist, who had me sign in and sit until the hr rep came over. 

After a few minutes of sitting, admiring the beauty of this building and the comradery and laughter coming from the office behind, the HR rep greeted me.  We shook hands, introduced ourselves, and went to a distant office, where I was greeted by the executives I would be working with. 

They were all very polite, and the interview went great! It was fun, airy, and an effortless conversation. I was there for an hour and a half, and as the HR rep was closing the interview, I was given an offer of employment contingent on the background check. 

I was so taken aback by this, as I had never experienced it before. I explained to them that while I appreciated this on-the-spot offer, I did want to take some time to think this over and talk to my husband.  

The pay was not even close to what I wanted or deserved based on the experience and skill set I was bringing to this company.  

Regardless of the pay rate, I was still very excited about this opportunity. I went home with a big smile, feeling accomplished and on top of the world.  

Important to note that on my way home, the walk to my car and drive through the city still weighed on me.  I threw every angel at myself regarding this red flag.  Telling myself things like, "It will be fine, you will be fine," "You will get used to driving in the city over time," and "the days/hours of the position make up for working in the city," this went on and on the entire ride home, which made me feel better about things. 

The ego always makes you feel better about things that may be bothering you, doesn't it?

I knew the background check would take a few days, and while I waited, the energy I once felt about this position and company somehow started to shift. 

As each day went on and I thought more about it, something felt off, and something wasn't sitting well with me. I couldn't put my finger on it; I just knew something felt different, and the day the background check came back, I knew that my intuition was reacting.  

It was trying to warn me something was coming that wouldn't be good for me.     

My bankruptcy came back on my background check, and I understand why bankruptcy would be a problem for this company since they are a Financial Institution.  

I knew the bankruptcy would show, and it was never a problem in the past, even for the other finance companies I worked for. The bankruptcy was years ago and had nothing to do with me making bad decisions or getting into trouble with the law. It was something I had to do after my 14-year marriage ended.  

The HR Manager called me to ask some questions about it, which I had no problem disclosing.  It is not something I am ashamed of.  While I used to be ashamed of it, I worked hard to get to a place where I now have grace with myself and understand that I did what I needed and what I thought was best at that time. 

So, my struggle wasn't being asked about it; it came when, a few hours later, I received a call from the HR Manager stating, "Although I had to fight for you with this one, the company would like to move forward with extending the permanent offer."

My intuition tried to tell me from the start that this wasn't a good move by sending me feelings I already knew all too well, but I disregarded them.

As soon as the HR rep said those words, I became very hot and sweaty, very nervous, and anxious.  

In all the work I have done with myself over the past few years, I know that when someone, a situation, or a place gives me anxiety, makes me feel sweaty or lightheaded and nauseous, it's my intuition telling me to run.  

Many spiritual gurus out there will tell you that your intuition doesn't have feelings, and I do not believe that.  

When I look back on my life and all the times I didn't follow my gut or intuition, I either had anxiety, felt this overwhelming sweaty feeling, and, in some cases where it was extreme, felt lightheaded and or nauseous.  Sometimes, I will have all of these happen at once, and those are the times it's a very loud warning from my higher self (intuition) that what I'm about to embark on will not be good for me.  

I believe everyone's intuition speaks to them differently. Your gut, intuition, inner self, or higher self, whatever you would like to call it, will talk to you in whatever way they know you will receive it and respond. If something terrible is happening or something bad is not suitable for me, I get anxious, sweaty, lightheaded, or nauseous, and sometimes, I will have all of the above.  

In the end, I turned down the position, and although I self-doubled that decision, that subsided over a few days, and I started to gain clarity on some other red flags I missed during that experience. 

Listening to our gut, intuition,  or higher self can sometimes be challenging and scary. But since focusing more on what my higher self is saying to me, I have found happiness, joy, and even the most incredible love all the times I've followed my high self-guidance.  

It takes time to "hear" your intuition, and I do not believe it can be taught.  You have to sit with yourself and really hone in on your inner self to feel how it's trying to guide you.  

For some people, like myself, it does not sound at all, but rather, it is a feeling, which is the connection between the event, person, place, or thing and the decision to be made.  

The best way I can explain it is that the feeling I get is the bridge that connects the person, place, or thing to the end result of whether the person, place, or thing will be good for me or not.  

Your intuition will never guide you in a bad direction or lead you down a dark road. It will always take you to a place of love, peace, success, and true happiness, and it will always lead you by love and light. 

Your intuition will not tell you what you want to hear; it will tell you what you need to hear.

My goal is to keep working on my inner peace and allow my higher self to speak to me so I can confidently follow her guidance.  

Will you walk this journey with me and do the same for yourself?

 💗 Me